If you have the chance to use Northown MUD or Southwest Water Company

I suggest you high tail it out of there as fast as you can. They're
inept, condescending pricks who after an endless time over three phone
calls with me have finally succeeded in making me cry.

I WANTED to talk to a supervisor to make some sort of formal complaint
about the shit service I've been receiving, but the supervisor was
hardly any better. So I got as high up in the chain as I could get, and
probably all I've got to show for it is a note in my file.

Customers should be able to make complaints about a company providing
them service for fuck's sake, and I should get a fucking apology and an
admission of some guilt on their part.

So I bring my complaint to the community.

Tired of Taking It Up the Ass

By the bank, the credit card company, the IRS, AT&T Uverse, the general fuckwad portion of the human population, and most recently Southwest Water Company, who can suck hairy taint, the sweaty ripe kind that hasn't been bathed in two weeks and lives in dirty underwear.

Fortunately for you, there are still some good things left in the world, which keep me just barely on this side of sanity and thus saving you from enduring my foot up your ass.

You MAY Be Going to Hell...

...if you are the person who covered up the bottom third of my "FOUND: 2 dogs" sign with your "blah blah blah lost chihuahua blah blah blah small black old blah blah blah" sign that no one will read because the print's too small.

I have ambivalent feelings about you. On the one hand, if I had lost one of my pets I would be freaking my shit out, so if you are freaking your shit out I can understand where you're coming from, and it is not a place conducive to thinking.

On the other hand, you are just a stupid dipshit for unnecessarily covering up the all important phone number on my sign instead of taping yours up three inches southward.

In this case, I deem you too stupid and/or self-centered to pollute this planet with yourself, and ban you to the fiery pits. Or maybe just purgatory.

Either way.

Someone's Getting Lucky Tonight

bagels on counter + cream cheese in fridge + he just did it because he knew I'd like it = awesome

You Are Going to Hell...

...if you are the person who covered up half of my "FOUND: 2 dogs" sign with your "Puppies for Sale" sign.

In your particular level of hell, you will be the director and sole volunteer of the only rescue organization in the world, with the weight of responsibility resting squarely on your shoulders while those around you breed willy nilly with little care but with an eye for profit.

PS Suck balls.

Warning, Warning

Patience level is approaching zero.

Level of patience is directly inverse to size of can of whoop-ass next in line to be opened.

On The Threads That Bind Us

OMG, was I high or what?

And I don't even do drugs!

Anymore...

Brain/Body Disconnect

Today as I took a bite of a donut, before I could even taste it, I said out loud "Oh my god, that is gooood!"

WTF?

All right, I know WTF. *sigh*

Don't Divorce Us

This made my cry.

I dare you not to cry.