Musical Monday

Don't be a peen and tell me 1 AM on Tuesday doesn't count.

I like these, and maybe you will too.

The official music video is better, but the communist bastards wouldn't let me embed it here. You should still check it out, though.

I Feel So Dirty

How could you play with my emotions this way, Disney? Didn't I mean anything to you? It was all a game to you, wasn't it?! You bastard!

Dear Bikers Doing 70 on the Toll Road

How in the hell do you not loose your mind in all that noise? I couldn't help but notice the lack of brains exploding out of your ears and I was wondering if you could bottle some of that up for me because I could sure use it the next time my kid is in one of his never-stops-talking moods.

P.S. Could you please not drive side by side right in front of that sedan there? It totally makes me think you're escorting someone important and you know when that happens there's a security detail around eyeing everyone suspiciously and that always makes me feel guilty even if I haven't done anything, well except that one thing but that was years ago, and okay that other thing but that was years ago too although not quite as many and what's the statute of limitations on that sort of thing anyway? Shit.

Wordless Wednesday

MOM! YOU HAVE GOT TO COME SEE THIS!

"Is it good or bad?"

"Good!"

Caterpillarus twig mimicus.

Here you can see the red stripe on his back, which is Caterpillarian for Don't Fuck With Me.

When he reached the end of the stick he went a little epilepticrazy like he wanted to throw himself off but didn't have the courage. You can't see it in the picture, but there were laser beams shooting out of his eyes.

Happy Mother's Day to Me

These are potted, which only slightly increases the chance they will not be dead a week from now.

HEB says these are Larkspurs, and you know I always believe what the store tells me.

Here is The Monkey, with the delightful bamboo plant he gave me. It came with the following warning: "Be careful for pandas, because PANDAS EAT BAMBOO!"

This is the look of gratitude I get every day that lets me know just how appreciated I am.

Here we have Fleurius Glitterus, also known as That Which Would Be Hideous Under Any Other Circumstances But Which Is Lovely When Your Child Picks It Out For You.

Don't Say I Never Gave You Nothin'

Here you go.

Love,
Me

In Which I Defy Genetics

"Thank god I'm not allergic to cats," I thought this morning as I buried my nose in Gus the cat's belly. I already couldn't breathe because of this cold/swine flu/apocalypse in my nose, so that probably would've been the final asphyxiating straw on the snotty camel's back.

My Mom and Brother are both allergic to cats so I'm pleased I managed to dodge this particular bullet. My Dad likes cats more than people so that probably helped.

Here are the two furrball members of our family. Gus (left) is the fiend who constantly schemes times and places to jump Maggie, and Maggie (right) is the one with the ghosts in her eyes.

Those Boogers Better Be Solid Gold

Because when you cut me off doing 10 under the speed limit and I pulled up to see you staring vacantly into space with a finger jammed up your nose, I almost shit a gold brick.