Why, Blue, Why?

So Milo and I were watching our beloved Blue's Clues yesterday when this monstrosity appeared on the screen.

A blue, fluffy, 3-D puppet with a goddamn friggin frackin grasp of the English language.

WHY, BLUE, WHY??

This hideous mockery of everyone's favorite blue dog exists in Blue's Room--a place where Blue can "speak to her friends".

Now, WHY, I ask you, does Blue have to turn into a nappy, groddy PUPPET in order to speak?

And! And! THERE IS NO JOE IN BLUE'S ROOM.

Every time we return from Blue's Room, Joe wonders onto the screen and goes 'Oh, there you are'.

OH, THERE YOU ARE??

Joe is not ever supposed to say OH, THERE YOU ARE unless we have been hiding from him while trying to set up his surprise birthday party!

I feel so...violated.

Don't mess with perfection, people.